My dear, perceptive reader, take a look around you. Not just your usual dismissive glance, but a real long look, beyond the obvious facades and into the souls of people. And while you are at it, do me a favor. Pick one person out of the crowd, preferably someone you know moderately well, and write down his/her flaws. Not just one of those politically correct endeavors you see at 8th grade ‘Truth or Dare’ games, but a comprehensive list, ranging from anything you don’t really like about that unfortunate individuals looks to any major character flaws (maybe, as a means of whiling away the time, he rips the head of Barbies, you never know). And when you are done with his character analysis, turn your perceptive gaze indeed upon yourself and repeat the same exercise.
Perhaps I flatter myself in assuming that you, my dear reader, actually spared the time to humor me, and perform my little exercise. Nevertheless, it is an assumption I shall take the liberty of making, and hope to predict the results of the experiment. If you have indeed done as I asked, and taken it seriously, I’m willing to wager that the list of faults for the unwittingly compromised soul you chose reads far more than your own. And here at last, long-winded as the journey may have been, we at last come to my point. Why cant people recognize and accept their flaws, their shortcomings, and take corrective measures? Why do we live forever in denial? Why does the blade of your critique, so glinting in the morning sun when it is poised to come down on your hapless companion, suddenly get so dull and blunt when poised over your own head?
Naïve question, say you? Perchance you be right. We humans always have a tendency to neglect our own faults and shortcomings. And while this blind spot seems to be inevitable, perhaps it is best that we get rid of it. All it achieves is to stop us from recognizing where we are inadequate. And when we don’t even admit to ourselves the obvious, that we simply aren’t good enough in certain aspects of life, how ever are we going to take measures to correct it? Wherever I go, I see people waxing eloquent on how the judging criteria were prejudiced, how the judges were incompetent, how they just had an off day, how their inadequacies could perhaps be overlooked as they were depressed because of the weather, how they hit their head on the bedpost in the morning, and that snowballed into a miserable day!! The same hold true not only for organized contests, but for life in general. You make your own luck. On a popular musical talent hunt on television, contestants galore implore for a second chance because of a sore throat. They say it really isn’t their fault. Assuming indeed for a moment that you do have a sore throat, it still remains your fault. You should have taken care of your health better. I hope you perceive my point, dear reader.
Instead, admit to yourself that you really weren’t good enough to win on that particular day. You were beaten by somebody who was better than you. Fair enough. So you need to get better. Do it!! Do not hide yourself behind the cheap and transparent facades you erect. Conversely, knowing how bad you are implies also knowing how good you are. Be not ashamed of either fact. Know exactly who you are better than, and also exactly who are worse than, and in what aspect. Perhaps I am not the best person to give you advice, my dear reader, but I implore you, suffer it but this once. I await your replies, and until the next time we meet, my dear reader, fare thee well!!
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8 comments:
My dear, authoritative author, I wouldn't deny whatever i read as your perceptive reader.
One thought. Somehow, i dont know why, but somehow, I think, no I believe, that the faults we find in others, are somehow related to the faults within us, and we deny them by finding them in others.
It could have been a theory in the psychological debates of the "self-other", but I dont want it to be so. What i want is, to know from you, could it be, that those things that we dont like in others, those qualities and attributes that we imagine as faults in others, are really our own shortcomings?
I hope i have been articulate enough, and you may be able to get what i am trying to get to
Perhaps so... it is entirely too possible. Unfortunately, all that does is strengthen my viewpoint. I continue my search, vain as it may seem, for the non-reflexive, objective viewpoint.
@ ashu....
perhaps it wud be your pleasure to divulge your identity??
I know it does strengthen ur view, one reason why i wrote it.
As for the identity, this is doggie.
ppl don't bother to overcome their short commings coz they never discover them in the first place. they don't find them coz they don't look out for them. most ppl are so sure of themselves and the rightness of their actions.what is needed acc to me is some empathy and maturity. i know an old woman who never accepts her faults. in her case, the reason is: she was never really appreciated in her life, neither by her parents nor her husband which made her rebellious and vehement. now old and sick of all the rejection, she is not scared anymore to fight back, although it might be for the wrong reasons this time.
of course this is only one of the many reasons. now isn't this the root cause of most clashes and arguments.
btw arnt u assuming too much on the readers part? coz i am not really that cant of person who will point fingers at others...and so might be many oder 'perceptive readers' now that u hav bestowed that quality on them :D
-push
hmmm... however interesting the thought maybe, it does hold a flipside to it. there are people whose personal flaw list might just exceed the other person's. we tend to adjudge that phenomenon as a lack of confidence. By turning a blind eye to our flaws we do strengthen our confidence levels whcih in turn is an important tool for success in whatever we endeavor. Self-beleif is what makes most of our jobs happen. constant doubt and acceptance of weaknesses may kill the zest for a task and not bring about required results. So, although morally it is despciable that we crib about other's incapabilities and hide our own, it probably was made to be that way for us to grow!
some eye opener! how important it is to recognise our own shortcomings before we criticize another... a quote that ive read back in school comes to my mind "judge not that ye be not judged"...its only when we have judged ourselves in each aspect and have come out clear are we in a position to judge another... thanks srivats!
@Adi....
Weak indeed are we if we cannot tolerate the knowledge of our own flaws.. furthermore, when we turn a blind eye towards them, refuse to acknowledge them, how can we correct them?
@Shruti....
High praise indeed... but the point was more of a 'Judge thy self as well as others'...
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